Before that, from May 2011 until April 2014, he ran Mars Hair as his business. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Youre easier to read than you think. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? He was lying. He is light in the darkness. Hot, fresh fury colored my entire day in a way I couldnt shake as easily before. Taking things personally yet again. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. Is it time yet? In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? Thats all, folks! At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. One moment, someone he knew was a genius. Our hearts. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didn't think of herself as "brave." But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. I remember finally mastering it. We belong to Him. Wouldnt a Christian want to try the best they could to ensure others are not hurt by this person? The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. Pretty dang quickly. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. According to reports, the couple divorced in 2021. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. Id seen the cover many times, writing it off as a fluffy Christian Girls are Ladies in Waiting lecture. https://somethingwaswrong.com/episodes/ This thread is archived (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. He responds. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Its insidious and the cost is incredibly high. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I was so excited for an entire weekend with a couple of my favorite people! According to the DSM-5, traits of APD include: I was flippantly told multiple stories from his childhood about rebellion, lying, and getting in trouble with authority. Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. It wreaks havoc on your mind, emotions and even your physical body. Please modmail us with any questions. Thats whats happening. In a recent interview with Trae Holiday, Omari Salisbury, a co-founder of Converge media, discussed Jake and his interactions with the press. 15. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. He sees farther than we do. Its fine, Ill just spend the weekend at home. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. If you could see what I see. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. His Instagram account, Instagravbrot, has 89 followers, 19 posts, and eight followings. I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. As Slyvias symptoms worsen, so do Tees suspicions that Sylvia is hiding something. Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats, This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. As believers, we have the power of Christ within us and when we are rooted, standing firm in our identity, it is a force that can withstand anything. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. My experience just has a little Dateline flair. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Until youve been gaslit, its extremely hard to understand. According to his LinkedIn page, Jake Gravbrot, a native of Seattle, Washington, has been employed as the hairstylist at Zero Zero Hair since 2014. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? Seems sus. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. You're not alone; there are men who are open and will freely be there to listen & walk with you. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. Your email address will not be published. Like yeah, it's easier to break up than divorce, but marriage is not a death sentence that can't be undone. . 2. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. He responds. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. Him. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Listen Now Season 12 Apple Podcasts unveiled the season 14 audio trailer for Something Was Wrong. on 13 October. He would shed actual tears when we would sit together watching movies or just cuddling on the couch, and I would think geez how damaged are you that this moment means this much? Something in my gut turned. I just listened to season one because Amazon podcasts referred it to me :) I had similar thoughts. Especially women. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. In addition, the couple has a boy from 2008 and a girl from 2003. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. If we see what He does: Him in us? Its close. Bravery is a choice of action regardless of fear being present. I went about my bachelorette party the next day ready to have fun, with no idea that Sunday held the exposure of massive lies. I had no frame of reference for what he meant because I was ecstatic to see him. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. Here are some notes I took and their associated memories: This is all a spectrum of a disorder. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. He was extremely generous with his resources and compliments. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! I cannot respond to any comments. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. I'm glad her parents were there for her and helped her see that Dick was bad, but it came with an overtone of ownership and control rather than simply concern and love. He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). Ive wondered if its an affront to His design when Christians continually refer to themselves and the church as wretched or even sinners saved by grace. (Here we go! THE PURPOSE - 100% of profits from each garment sold are contributed to a socially conscious artist grant program. When Jake was 18 years old, he moved to Seattle. The night we dropped the L bomb and said we loved each other, we didnt technically say it. Simply switch between keys without allowing air to pass through their surface and your fingertips. When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. His driving was aggressive, earning him multiple tickets. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. Based on this analysis we estimated that the Something Was Wrong receives 25k - 50k listens each time an episode goes out across Apple, Google, Youtube, and Spotify podcast networks. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award Winning docu-series podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. No Victim Shaming or Victim Blaming. Her grandmother passed away in 2009. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). Before being married, Kailyn Gravbrot and Jake Gravbrot were in a relationship. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Jake Gravbrot Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Wife, And What Was Wrong In Season 14? I was simply drawn to it. 64.7k Followers, 178 Following, 57 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. something was wrong podcast sara picture. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. It still irritates me. Welcome to a spiritual war. My countenance fell and everything shifted. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. More and more, constant intake. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. He just needed to get out. Later, Kailyn and Jae divorced, and she then wed another man. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. Podcast: something was wrong Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. Oscars Best Picture Winners Best Picture Winners Independent Spirit Awards Women's History Month SXSW STARmeter Awards Awards Central Festival . If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. A subreddit for snarking on fundamentalist Christianity and extreme Christian views. I've honestly had a fantastic career so far, working alongside brilliant people for the best brands in the world. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) Jake and Mimi have protected the privacy of their data. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? If they trust me with something, I hold it close. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. Sociopathy tends to be characterized by a lack of conscience and ability to form many true emotional bonds, but psychopathy means zero conscience or personal bonds. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. Episodes Popular Podcasts See All Advertise With Us For You Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. Welcome to a spiritual war. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. It breaks my heart. Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. Our creative and faceted personalities. He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) The answer is absolutely yes. In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. In Season 14 of the show, an accurate account of Seattle-based hairstylist Jake Gravbrot is presented. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. Jakes mother, a single parent, used to live with her parents. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Love is what rescued me. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram @SpaceandPurpose Check out Sara's Blog spaceandpurpose.com Something Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Sara's story He has a company named Jake Gravbrot Photography, and in addition to doing hair, he also works as a concert and landscape photographer. Neither can you. Show Notes: We were something to behold. YOU matter. I'm pretty damn passionate about the enneagram. I just wish that there had been some acknowledgement of how damaging it can be for abuse victims to hear the church absolving abusive behavior in men because of "biblical marriage.". Sayings like move along grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common. Its a beautiful song, but it isnt on my short list of repeated favorites. Think more Brittany Dawn than Rodrigues. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. Agreed, it frustrated me that they werent touching on how religious communities can create environments ripe for abusive relationships. Episodes - Something Was Wrong Season 13 This season, we continue to share the stories of incredible survivors and their shocking life discoveries and recovery from them. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. He finally has our full attention. Women are excellent at busying themselves going about duties and often sacrificing those little girl dreams in the process. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. Not on the next repeat, though. Its not gonna just go away.). In addition to believing lies about myself, I believe my fear of failure was rooted in pride. I listened to season one with Sara and Dick and thought of this sub. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Its very real. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. I listened to the Sarah and Dick arc and I feel like Sarah herself has a lot of fundie lite beliefs and either she or the host didn't seem willing to acknowledge how those beliefs prime women to accept abuse from their partners. I grabbed the bags from the car, crossed the parking lot to greet him while my roommate continued on into the house, and when I saw his posture I paused. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. And the idea of parents having that level of control over a 30 year old woman made me sad. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice.